i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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