Betty ford says i'm here all night
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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