Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
