First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
being pregnant is like rehab
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
