I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
