awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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