I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
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We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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