Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
