me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
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