im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
