vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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