I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
