we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize