His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
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