If i come over, it means nothing
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize