is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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