Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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