I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
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I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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