I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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