It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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