i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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