That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
