It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
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I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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