my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize
