Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
