I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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