I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
