Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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