Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
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