she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
