so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
