I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
