He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
is it fun? or sober?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
