barbara walters just said penis...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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