i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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