shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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