he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize