she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
