She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
