i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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