Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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