I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
