i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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