How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
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