What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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