it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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