A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Less talking, more tequila
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
