so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
