She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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