I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
