We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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