I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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