Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize