get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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