is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
