I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
