ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
