Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
