I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We are two peas in an std pod
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
