you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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